Mehr German notes!

Auf Deutsch:

Er trägt eine Mütze.

In English:

He wears a hat.

Auf Deutsch:

Wir tragen Schue.

In English:

We are wearing shoes.

Auf Deutsch:
Es macht alles keinen Sinn.
In English:
It all makes no sense. (indirectly translated)
Auf Deutsch:
Ihr trägt ein Keyboard.
In English:
You all carry a keyboard.
Auf Deutsch:
Sie tragen Sonnenbrillen.
In English:
We are wearing sunglasses.
Auf Deutsch:
Ich mache ein Video für euch.
In English:
I am making a video for you all.
Auf Deutsch:
Wir machen etwas Geheimes.
In English:
We are doing something secretive.
Auf Deutsch:
Ihr macht Übungen auf Seedlang.
In English:
You are doing exercises on Seedlang.
Ok, das is alles für jetzt.
Notes on Notes:
“Geheimes” is a fun word!
Seedlang is one of the resources I’m using to beef up my vocabulary and try to get a handle on grammar.
I really like the team that makes the app. They also do YouTube videos under the account Easy German and just started an all-German podcast! The app is actually not completely perfect, but it’s still very helpful. However, the videos and podcast are, in my opinion, pretty perfect; they are both invaluable learning tools.
They just seem like my kind of people (cool, down-to-Earth nerds) and are definitely my favorite teachers so far.
Ok, that’s that!


German notes

I’m teaching myself German. This is the type of thing people resort to when they can’t be physically active anymore, I guess! Anyway, I have pages of scattered handwritten notes around my house and office, so I figured I would use my long-abandoned slice of the Internet to try and keep things at least somewhat organized.

Sorry this isn’t a real update, but the good/bad news is that I will probably update way more regularly now! The bad/bad news is that it will mostly be boring German notes. But maybe I’ll try to fold in some actual “hard-hitting life/blog/fatigue/anxiety content,” too, for you, my fan. Heh. We’ll see. Anyway, time to dump some German vocab. Apologies in advance.

Also, is anyone out there learning German? Or another language? Any tips? I have a few. Maybe I’ll write a thing about it if anybody is interested. For now, I will just say this: German grammar is fuckin’ schwierig. It vexed me as a high schooler and it vexes me now. I seriously think it’s what made me stop trying back then. That and just being an angsty moron. But, unlike back then, I am determined to master it and make progress. And also unlike back then, I have YouTube now. Anyway. Los geht’s, shall we?

German verbs in sentences, plus English translations:

Auf Deutsch:

Aber der Wind scheint so stark zu sein.

In English:

But the wind seems to be so strong.

Auf Deutsch:

Ihr seid bei Klaus.

In English:

You are all with Klaus.

Auf Deutsch:

Wir trinken etwas.

In English:

We drink something.

Auf Deutsch:

Man muss Pfand in den Einkaufswagen stecken, um ihn zu bekommen.

In English:

You have to put a deposit in your cart in order to get it.

Auf Deutsch:

Isi schläft an der Wand.

In English:

Isi sleeps on the wall.


Ok, das reicht für heute!

Bis zum nächstes Post.


Social anxiety

A few weeks ago, I deleted my Facebook account. I’ve had it for roughly 10 years and have flirted with deactivating it many times in the past, but this time–after doing my best to mute FOMA’s* persistent siren’s call–I plan to let it lapse for good. (In true “nothing is really free” fashion, Facebook doesn’t take kindly to you leaving it behind and taking all of your sweet, succulent consumer data along with it, so it makes you wait a few months before your account is past the point of no return, to up the chances you’ll come crawling back. Or, I’m sorry, to “help you stay connected to what matters most.”

Anyway, it’s been a few weeks without Facebook, and I haven’t missed it. But I still spend a LOT of time on social networks. Sometimes, I feel like my entire day is spent cycling from Instagram to Twitter to even LinkedIn for God’s sake, just waiting for something to happen. It’s the first thing I do in the morning. It’s the last thing I do at night. It distracts me when I should be working. So, today I cut the cord on all of them.

What am I hoping will happen? Well, hopefully, I will parlay some of that anxious energy into filling my time with more meaningful things. What am I expecting will happen? Hm. Perhaps a mild existential crisis brought on by realizing/accepting(?!) that my life has absolutely zero meaning or purpose as it stands. (And then hopefully building from there.)

Either option feels more constructive in the long run, honestly. And I’m mostly excited to see what happens. (I’m also terrified, but we’ll focus on “excited.”)

*FOMA: Fear Of Missing Out

Blocks (not the building kind)

It’s taken me 11 days to post again. Here are a few contributing factors to my lack of productivity:

  • Fear (what if it’s not interesting?)
  • Anxiety (what if I can’t fully articulate my thoughts perfectly?)
  • Good old-fashioned writer’s block
    • But a more personalized version, fully informed by both items above
  • Fatigue
  • Dread
  • Depression
  • Anticipation
  • Over-inflated expectations (my own)
  • Et al.

Ironically, this list also serves as fairly decent topic-fodder. So, expect deeper dives into some or all of those at some point. However, I already have my next topic. Stay tuned. I won’t wait 11 more days this time.

The bad news? You have sleep apnea. The good news? You have sleep apnea!

I have been tired for a  year. That’s not hyperbole. Since around this time last year, I have been exhausted most of the time. The kind of tired that makes you go to the doctor. Several times over. For blood tests and referrals to other doctors. For more blood tests. To rule out lupus, rheumatoid arthritis, fibromyalgia, the elusive Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Lyme Disease and other afflictions that, for a few days, I’d convinced myself I most definitely had. Until the blood tests came back negative. It was an endless cycle. And what started out as paranoia (“Oh god, what if I have Lupus? If I have Lupus, it’s gonna suck. Oh shit. I DEFINITELY have Lupus. I can feel it!“) morphed into a misguided kind of hopefulness (“You know what? I hope it IS Lyme Disease. At least I’ll know what’s going on.”). So, that’s been my year. I’ve had to stop doing things I enjoy: horseback riding, walking the dog…uh, existing on this earth like a normal human person. And stop doing things I don’t enjoy but actually kind of miss at this point, like housework. Working a normal 40-hr-a-week job is a struggle. On weekends it has long been the new normal to sleep 16-22 hours a DAY. Essentially, sleeping my entire weekend away. That’s time I would normally be spending with my husband, my dog, my cat, friends. But instead, I’m in bed. Sleeping. Only to wake up exhausted every time. It’s not a very fulfilling way to live.

But today I saw a neurologist to discuss the results of my recent “last ditch effort to be diagnosed with something” at-home sleep study. And he told me I have sleep apnea. So yeah, that’s right. I do not have Lupus or RA or CFA or Lyme Disease or myeloencephalitis* or whatever but I HAVE SLEEP APNEA, motherfuckers!!! You have no idea how happy this makes me. Or, I guess you might now, after reading the last few sentences. But I just mean, I know it’s not normal to be over the moon about a potentially deadly affliction. But, honestly, I am just happy to HAVE SOMETHING SOLVABLE. My doctor ordered me a CPAP machine. Not known for its stylishness, but YES known for its helping-you-not-suffocate-during-the-night-ness and its ability to improve sleep quality. In other words, to stop me from waking up 6 times an hour. I will take it. I pick it up in a week or so. I will let you know how it goes. I just hope I can get some real rest now.

*Just joshing, only horses get that. I know because I used to study horse science. Maybe one day I’ll tell ya about it.